Going private with Pinch

New York Times

We’re winning on 43rd Street! We finally got the insurgent leader from Morgan Stanley in New York, Hassan El-Masry (or “Elmasry,” as he likes to call himself), to retreat and dump his shares in the paper. NYTCo stock closed at a ten-year low, 18 and a few dimes.

“This is exactly what we have planned all along, of course,” a jubilant Adolph said this morning. “We bilk the little old ladies and the big investors who bought our stock in the $40s and $50s because they think they’re just like us–prominent, important, powerful. Then we tank the business and when the stock price starts hitting the carpet, we take the whole show private and keep the change. Offer the suckers a nickel a share–who cares? We don’t even have to buy anybody out. By the middle of next year, our common stock will be cheaper than the Sunday paper, but with better comics.”

He’s right! With predictions like that, Ochs can do the horoscope in the new, all-family-owned paper.

Meanwhile, somebody ought to get up an editorial urging the government to bail out Times investors.

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Posted 18.10.2007. 0 Kommentare.
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