Gordon Brown’s two Americas


The BBC’s “World Affairs Correspondent,” a man named Allan Little, was just on BBC News 24 explaining Gordon Brown’s visit to America. Brown, he said, was an Atlanticist, but one that prefers a certain kind of America. According to Little, Brown likes the America of “human rights” and, no doubt, the America of my own newspaper, the Times. “In other words,” Little said, “blue state America, Massachusetts–not red state America, the America of George Bush,” where, as we all know, human rights mean nothing.

Well done, Allan! We’ll toast you today at lunch–and someday, in person (when “toasting” will take on a whole ‘nother meaning).

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Posted 30.07.2007 by Pultizer Prize-winning New York Times correspondent Walter Duranty
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Memo to Keller: Fire the ag guy

New York Times

Bill: It’s more important now than ever that we are all on the same page, every page. So I was very disappointed to see our precious “rural” correspondent, Verlyn Klinkenborg, going soft on our environmental stand.


I am laying in all the thinking I can against a time when summer is in short supply.

What is that? The whole point of our effort, Bill, is to make people think that summer will never be in “short supply.” Al Gore would never lounge around, petting the pig and thinking someday there just won’t be enough warm weather to go ’round. Time to tell Klinkendinger this:


Then fire his faux-hayseed butt so he can lay in some thinking against a time when money is in short supply.

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Posted 28.07.2007 by Pultizer Prize-winning New York Times correspondent Walter Duranty
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Bradley’s practical joke “misfires” on Fox News

Fox News

Ed Bradley, one of the stars of CBS’s  “60 Minutes” until his reassignment down here last year, is not just a great newsman. He’s also proved himself to be a world-class joker.

Example: Last night, while everyone was at Eva Peron’s  for her annual party–always a drag, always featuring Evita singing “Locomotion” and always ending in tears–crazy Ed and his little friend Herve Villechaise decided to lighten things up, literally.

The duo of doofuses found the pile of tires used by the kids in Eva’s factory to make those rubber-soled huarache sandals that melt all over your kitchen floor, poured some Ever-Clear over the biggest mountain of retreads this side of an NBC prime-time line-up, and lit it–right under the Fox News building on 6th Avenue! Then they went inside, turned on the bigscreen and watched that oily Shepherd chap fight against the urge to scream and run:

Halfway through, when Shepherd starts talking about the cat who visits departing geezers, Ed says, “Kitty! Go to Walter!” Ed misses having the Uncle with him C8. A little patience, Ed! You’re already the king of grins!

Update: Ed–going one better every day. Like this morning, when he got Tupac to do a little boom-boxing under Indonesia, triggering a 6.6 on the Richter!

The uptight bastards on C1 are trying to get his upper-circle pass revoked, but that would make all those funeral fetes truly deadly.

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Posted 27.07.2007 by Pultizer Prize-winning New York Times correspondent Walter Duranty
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Exclusive: 9/11 activist says Ward Churchill latest victim of anti-Semitism

Rocky Mountain News

GEHENNA (C8 NewsWire) – Ethnically Muslim amateur pilot Mo Atta said today in an exclusive interview that he felt Ward Churchill, the University of Colorado professor recently fired for describing the occupants of the WTC as “little Eichmanns,” had been victimized by anti-Semitic “forces.”

Atta is best known for his successful collaborative effort with other Islamish aviation enthusiasts to fly airplanes into the World Trade Center towers on 11 September 2001, killing nearly 3,000. Atta made the comment just before addressing a large pro-Churchill rally on C9 sponsored by Root Causes, the global justification manufacturer.

“Only Churchill seems to have understood our motives,” Atta said. “We were only trying to help the Jewish people by killing as many ‘little Eichmanns’ as we possibly could.”

 Atta said he and the others believed that peace for Jerusalem would ultimately mean peace for the Middle East. “Little Eichmanns do not remain little for long,” he said. “The American people should look at Churchill’s firing and ask who is protecting these people.” Atta’s comments seemed certain to add credence to those who claim the WTC attack by Atta and the others was the work of the network of powerful Zionists thought by many to be behind many contemporary events.

When asked by a world-famous reporter who won a Pulitzer Prize in 1932 if he was concerned that innocent non-Eichmanns may have also been killed in the attacks, Atta, a man with lovely brown eyes who who speaks English with an exotically thick accent, replied, “Of course. But to get at the technocratic corps, you must  first penetrate the eggshell.”

At the rally, celebrity socialist Michael Herrington read a statement from  Andrew (“Little Dahmer”) Ross, a New York University professor who serves on a committee on academic freedom for the American Association of University Professors.  “[Churchill’s firing] is a fateful decision,” Ross said. “Academics will less and less feel they can speak their minds with impunity.”

Churchill claimed tribal ancestry, although the exact tribe was not known and is presumed lost.

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Posted 26.07.2007 by Pultizer Prize-winning New York Times correspondent Walter Duranty
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Famed chef links McDonald’s in France with McDonald’s in US

The New York Times

I don’t know how, but suicidal French frymeister Bernard Loiseau got himself and a shotgun invited to Horace Greeley’s annual chili cookoff yesterday. The guy can barely speak English, but that didn’t stop him from ranting like a madman.

His main point seemed to be an obsession with a paranoid conspiracy linking McDonald’s restaurants in France with the original McDonald’s, the American fast-food chain. I just got part of it, but the man is clearly deranged. Not as deranged as George W. Bush, who thinks al-Qaeda in Iraq has something to do with Osama’s al-Qaeda, but crazy nonetheless:

“The facts are that McDonald’s makes Big Macs in the US, they’re making Big Macs in France and across the world and they are plotting to find other ways to make Americans fat again,” Loiseau told a cluster of confused 19th century Italian pasta chefs. “Those who justify eating Big Macs at French McDonald’s by denying the link to McDonald’s in America and its ties to Ray Kroc ignore the clear consequences of such a repast.”

M. Loiseau referred throughout his rambling oration to what a sous-chef said was newly obtained menus lists which he said linked McDonald’s in France and the central McDonald’s management that is believed to be operating from Oak Brook, Illinois, region. Although the sous-chef, said to be a pastry cook, claimed the menu was declassified, he declined to provide any details on the list of items M. Loiseau cited.

In stark terms, M. Loiseau laid out a case that McDonald’s in France had taken its cues from the central McDonald’s leadership, and that it had been led by foreigners who have sworn allegiance to McDonald’s Corporation.

I have heard some whoppers in my day, but this really takes the cake. The French will say anything, including “repast”.

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Posted 25.07.2007 by Pultizer Prize-winning New York Times correspondent Walter Duranty
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